Photo Hunters ~ Red

I didn't have to look far for inspiration. My son was painting the roof of his new bird feeder a nice shade of red last night.

A step in the right direction

I know that being a parent is hard, but I'm positive that being a step-parent is harder. At least that has been the case for me. As Bugs mommy I get hugs and kisses and adoration. Sure being a parent has challenges, but you get rewarded with so much.

As a stepmother, the rewards are fewer and farther between.

Let me tell you a bit about my stepson and our history. I have been in his life since he was three years old, he is now fifteen.

He is so smart this boy. When he was four his dad said to him "Look there's a shooting star" stepson said "Actually dad, a shooting star isn't really a star. It's a meteor and we can see it because it's burning up in the Earths atmosphere" Yes.. at four!

When he was three he used to say to me.. "Odum... I love you" It would melt my heart. When we would ride in the car he always wanted me to lean my seat all the way back. I would flip my hair over the seat and he would run his little hands through it. It helped him feel safe and comfortable, he had terrible anxiety about being away from his mom. The only time he wasn't with her was when he came to visit hubby and I. So it was very difficult for him.

During a visit with us, about a year into my relationship with hubby, stepson said to me out of the blue "My mom thinks your ugly" My heart sank, I said "Well, what do you think?" He thought about it for a second and said "I don't think your ugly" Ever since that time it has been a struggle connecting with him. He has felt torn between having a relationship with me and not wanting to betray his mom. I have tried not to push anything on him, when he felt more comfortable referring to me as his "step-friend" instead of "step-mom" I didn't mind. I told him he could refer to me however he felt comfortable.

I have struggled to keep in mind that he is a child and only says what he learns at home. I have had a hard time relating to him over the years. The life he lives with his mom and grandparents is very different than the one we live.

Until this year he was home schooled. He struggled interacting with other kids. He would try to parent them and correct them. He was overly mature in ways and under mature in other ways.

Two and a half years ago he moved with his mom and grandparents across the country. Since then we have not seen him often. It is up to us to purchase any and all plane tickets in order to see him and we have to rely on his mom to tell us when she will get him to the airport.

So this brings us to this past week, he flew out for Thanksgiving. He is now in High school now and boy what a change. He was so much more laid back. I wasn't walking on eggshells wondering what he would come up with to complain to his mom about. He was so much better with Bug, he didn't get as annoyed with him. Bug adores him, he wants to be in his face every second when he is here.

In fact if Bug was harassing me while I was cooking dinner, his big brother would come in and entertain him so that I could finish what I was doing.

I had good conversations with him, in depth talks about religion, politics, what he believes in. This boy is not the boy I saw 16 months ago. He is so much more mature. So it's a big huge step in the right direction for our relationship. One that has been a very long time coming.

Here are some pics from his visit.

Wordless Wednesday

It's a party!

Bug turns the big number 5 this week. So this past Saturday we had a birthday party for him.

Bug woke up around 6am, jumped into our bed and exclaimed

"GUYS.... do you know what kind of day it is today?

Daddy and Mommy: "Why no Bug, what day is it?"

Bug: "Mooooommm, Daaaadd, it's my PARTY day!"

Daddy and Mommy: " Oh right, we almost forgot."

As I was getting things ready, Bug started pouting that there weren't enough decorations. Little did he know I had another trip to town planned for balloons and a surprise pinata.

The party can only be referred to as a Spiderman extravaganza!

Bugs has a love of all things Spiderman, this despite the fact he hasn't really watched anything with Spiderman. We hung the pinata in the yard and let the kids go in order of age. Lucky for Bug he was youngest and it was his party so he got the first whack at it.

His cousin little T was next and gave it all he had, but Spidy wasn't breaking...

It wasn't until his cousin big T (the baseball player) gave it a hard knock that it's neck broke open. Big cousin C did it in and his poor big brother didn't even get a chance at it. There was a mad dash for the candy....

Good thing we had my stepson on dog doodoo duty that morning or all that diving could have been disastrous! Here is all that was left of poor Spiderman...

We went back inside to open presents and have some cake. I thought I would give a try at making the cake myself. Cake decorating is um ... not my thing.

I tried writing Happy Birthday but the letters were so bad that I gave up and just did circles. I guess I won't be giving up my day job.

Bug received some really nice gifts from our family. After everyone left he serenaded us with a song on his new keyboard that came complete with microphone. I can't remember the words to the song but it was pretty in depth and after wards he stood up and took a bow.

A fun time was had by all. Bug had so much fun he forgot that he wanted me to invite everyone from daycare and preschool to the party. He didn't however forget that he did not receive his number one requested toy... a red Mustang with white stripes. That he now thinks Santa is going to bring... sigh...

On another note, just prior to the pinata whacking I went to pick my camera off of the picnic table and gracefully dropped it onto the cement below. I couldn't even look at it. I sunk onto the bench and put my face in my hands ready to cry. From behind me came the always steady voice of reason that is my dad. "What? Nothings wrong, it's fine, it's not broken"

I put my head up .. astonished because in my brain I was certain I saw and heard glass breaking when it hit! Nope.. just a scratch on the bottom where it hit. Phew..

I can't believe my Buggy is almost five. How is it that time speeds up when you become a parent?

Happy Thanksgiving

Earlier this week Bugs preschool teacher asked him to draw a picture of what he is thankful for. He drew the following picture.

Notice my hands ... in my knees. The purple "person" is his brother and Bug is the green one... oh so appropriate. But the best part is the red alien ship above daddy's head! Apparently Bug is very thankful for aliens. Bug was born on Thanksgiving day. Because of this we started a tradition that every Thanksgiving he gets to open one present. This morining he opened up a spiderman umbrella. You would have thought we gave him a million dollars, he loves this umbrella so much. So Bug is now thankful for the umbrella too, and I am thankful for Bug.

I hope everyone has a happy and safe Thanksgiving.

Wordless Wednesday

I made it back!

Oh I am exhausted! Last Tuesday I woke up at 4am and drove two hours to the airport. Luckily that time of the morning there isn't much traffic and I made it with time to spare. You know, flying used to be fun but any more it's just like going to the livestock auction and you are the cow. They push you through and squish you into these ridiculously small seats. They temp you with food only to then tell you that "I'm sorry ma'am this tasteless, cardboard like pizza will cost you extra" Good grief why didn't I bring food. I pass on the cardboard pizza and just get by with the weird crackers they give out for free. So with coffee and crackers in my stomach I descend into Denver for a layover.

I don't know what happened to me in the last few years, but I just don't take motion as well as I used to. As we started to descend into Denver there was a lot of turbulence. I tried to keep my mind on things other than my stomach. Mind over matter... but all I could think of was whether or not there was a barf bag in the seat back in front of me. I check, nope no such luck. I look around for something else to barf into. My purse.. oh no I can't do that. Dang it.. stop thinking about it.. it's getting worse! I found myself doing Lamaze breathing to keep the nausea away. When did I start hating flying?

I made my connection in Denver and safely landed at my destination three hours later. My colleague and I went to pick up our rental car. We ended up with a purple PT cruiser. These are strange little cars. We got in and Claudia was going to drive, she did her normal checks. Lights.. check... wipers.. check. We backed out and started to leave. In order to leave the parking garage there was a gate and a guy had to check our documents to make sure we weren't stealing the car. Claudia went to put her window down. "Where is the window button?" I checked my door.. no button... I clicked the lock button.. no that's not it. We must have looked pretty funny as we frantically searched for the window button because the man in the booth yelled " IN THE CENTER OF THE DASH" through his laughter. nice..

When we got to the hotel it was really dark, Claudia clicked the lock button on the key chain. The headlights came on. Ok.. so we waited, thinking they would turn off. One minute, two minutes.. what the heck? Not wanting to risk a dead battery in a strange city we opened the door and turned on the lights, then off again and locked it from the inside. We never did figure out the lights on that dang car.

As we walked through the front door of the hotel we see..... huge plastic drapes.. dust.. oh jeez they were going through a huge remodel. Great. Luckily they put us up in some updated rooms on the top floors away from the noise.
On the second night my colleague went out to dinner with a relative of hers. My boss gave me directions to a mall that was supposed to be close by. I didn't write them down since it sounded so easy to find. I thought I would take the car and go find the mall. I felt I had followed the directions well, but I found myself on a road for what seemed like far to long. I was traveling through a residential neighborhood. It didn't feel right. I decided I better turn back and go the way I came. I made a left at a cross street, there was a police car sitting along side the road so I decided not to do a u-turn, or turn around in front of him. For fear I would look suspicious. Because you know the cops are going to wonder about a thirty three year old business women in a purple PT cruiser turning around on a quiet neighborhood street.. jeez. Anyway I thought I could do a series of left turns that would take me back to the road I was on and then I could back track to the hotel. WRONG. I ended up on a different road in rush hour traffic in the dark. Great, just great. I'll be driving around for hours in a strange city. Lucky for me I have a pretty good sense of direction and ended up on the same street that my companies office is on. Hallelujah! I found my way back to the hotel, went to the front desk and asked for a list of restaurants within walking distance.
I called hubby and Bug every night. Every morning Bug would wake up, rub his eyes and say "I miss mommy". But hubby made it better by taking him to see the Bee movie Friday night.

On the way home they routed me from the North East to Houston and then to the North West. Yes, that's right, I zig zagged my way across the country. I truly believe our employee travel department wants to kill me. After a three hour flight to Houston, a two hour layover and then a five hour flight home, I had to drive another two hours. Last Friday I woke up at 6am Eastern and didn't get to bed until Midnight pacific. The next morning hubby and I drove the two hours back to the airport to pick up my Step-son who flew in for Thanksgiving. Did I mention I am exhausted. The thought of getting into a moving vehicle makes me nauseous.
The good thing is, I really like my new boss. I think I'm going to like my new job once they are done training me. I'm back home and so thankful!