Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Emotionally exhausted!

I have been so tired the last few days. Saturday was the service and it went very well. There was just the right amount of people. The weather was gorgeous and every thing went very smoothly.
I spent most of Sunday doing nothing. Yesterday I was just as exhausted but managed to get caught up at work.
Today I am feeling a lot better and will hopefully be getting back onto the blogging band waggon.
One other thing happened this past week that I just can't get out of my head.
A tragedy happened in the family of an old high school friend.
A horrible, horrific event that I can't even fathom.
I haven't spoken to this friend in at least a decade. We used to be very close in high school, but then we drifted apart. I went in a different direction and we just didn't click anymore.
When we ran into each other a decade ago we had a really nice visit. We exchanged phone numbers and the following week I called her to see if she wanted to go to lunch.
She completely blew me off. You know when you are talking to someone and it feels very awkward, you can tell that person just isn't interested in you.
I realized it wasn't meant for us to be friends and I just let it go, even though inside the rejection hurt.
When I heard about the tragedy on the news I was in disbelief that it was her family.
I had spent practically every day at their house over the course of my Sophomore year in high school. I went to church with them every Sunday.
I immediately felt that I should reach out to her in some way. To at least send her a card letting her know how sorry I was.
When I told someone this, their first response was " Didn't she sort of reject you?"
I responded with, "Well yes she did, but I just can't ignore the pain she must be feeling."
I don't expect any sort of response from her. I don't even really feel the need for a response, but I did feel an absolute need to reach out with some kind words.
I have realized how important it is, when dealing with a loss, to have people just say they are sorry they are and that they are thinking of you.

3 comments:

Corey~living and loving said...

So many hugs to you Autumn! my heart is with you.
I'm so glad to hear that the service was just as you all wanted it. the weather was so nice, huh? :)
I hope that this week brings you some "new normal" and things start clicking along again.
As for the other situatioin. No matter what happened between you two, you are so right in knowing that reaching out is the best thing to do. You are a wonderful person, and we both know that there are just times in our lives that we don't mesh with people. Sometimes those times last a few months....a few years, and sometimes it is forever, but it doesn't mean we don't care of them.

hugs and more and more and more hugs!

Michele (Rocky Mtn.Girl) said...

Oh Autumn, I'm so sorry to hear how tired you are. Not to worry about the blogging, just make sure you get plenty of rest!
I am glad to hear the service went well and perhaps life can slowly click back into the grooves...
Big big hugs for you.

And for the other problem... that's touchy. You have a HUGE heart of gold. I think you are such a caring and forgiving person and I think that's incredible and I love that! You are indeed a special human being. Sending your warm wishes is fine and you may not get a response but it will make you feel better inside or perhaps depending on the tragedy, a donation of a general fund may be something to help show your concern. Just know that God knows how you feel, that is what's important as well!
(HUG)

North Dakota Ward's said...

I just stopped by and noticed the title of your post. I am sooo sorry to hear about the loss of your stepmom. Hang in there. You seem to be a caring person so don't let the actions of an old school pal get you down. You did your part to help, if only everyone would do as you did and try and reach out. Not everyone will be so receptive, but for those who are, you make a huge difference.