Monday, April 28, 2008

I'm trudging along

Saturday I went to my parents house to help prepare for the service next Saturday.

Why we decided to have it there I am now questioning.

The house isn't small, but it isn't gigantic either.

And there is no good parking.... at all.

170 acres and no parking.

So our solution is to have everyone park at the neighbors house and get a van to shuttle people down the mile long driveway.

I volunteered my husband to do the chauffeuring.

The day had me feeling like my head was floating above my body.

You know that feeling of " I can't believe I am here and this is happening right now" feeling.

So yesterday I went and looked at a horse that's for sale.

Yes, I know it sounds like a very strange thing to do.

But I needed the distraction.

I needed to do something for me.

I decided not to buy him.

It's just such bad timing.

And here is where I cuss... I hate that stupid f*cking windows movie maker.

I've been working on a slide show for days, I get so frustrated with it.

You know.. in between crying and laughing.. it makes me frustrated.

The end product will be fantastic but I'm being severely anal about the whole thing.

I want life back to normal, but now I don't know what normal is.

Maybe after Saturday...


Michele (Rocky Mtn.Girl) said...

((Hugs)) Hang in there Autumn... You're doing fine, k? Considering what you are going through, I don't think I could do half of what you are doing. I think you are doing fantastic and I'm soooo proud of you! Remember that. Things will get back to normal. It will take time and I know it feels like the world is upside down but it will come back together. Take this as a learning process and a way of everyone bonding together in one way or another... this is a very valuable time.

Corey~living and loving said...

oh dear. So many hugs Autumn. I am thinking of you all the time. I am so sorry that everything is so hard right now. Nothing will ever be the same, but the NEW normal will be okay. someday....

love you!

Huckdoll said...

Oh my gosh, Autumn, I really wish I was there to give you a hand AND a hug. Keep your head up, hun.